Undoubtedly, you have heard both sides of the debate about how divorce affects the children. Some say divorce is emotionally devastating for the young ones ,and others say that is it better to divorce than to subject your children to years of watching their parents unhappily married. Your fear of causing harm to your children may even cause you to remain married when your own well-being is at risk.
It may be difficult to imagine that your children will not be emotionally traumatized if you, as an adult, are overwhelmed by the circumstances. However, it may comfort you to know that there are steps you can take to minimize the negative effect the divorce may have on your children.
Ways a divorce may affect your child
Change is the big issue that makes the situation difficult for a child. In addition to the separation of parents, if your divorce involves monumental changes such as moving away from West Virginia, changing schools or welcoming a new romantic interest, your children may experience greater emotional turmoil. During the first and most difficult year after the divorce, it will be important to minimize the upheaval as much as possible and keep as much familiarity and stability in your child's life as you can.
Your custody arrangements can help in that respect. One serious issue with your children may be not seeing both parents as much as before the divorce. Settling on an equitable parenting schedule and maintaining a polite and cooperative attitude with your spouse may relieve your children of some of common stresses during and following a divorce, such as:
- Worrying that you and your spouse will stop loving them
- Fearing that they are to blame for the divorce
- Blaming one or the other of you for the changes in their lives
- Living in fear that their misbehavior may make things worse
- Struggling to achieve academically
- Acting impulsively or taking dangerous risks
Additionally, an equitable parenting arrangement may reduce some of the stress you or your spouse may feel as single parents. This stress can create tension between you and you children at a time when they may already be feeling resentful or confused. If you and your spouse are able to remain consistent in your parenting and positive when it comes to the children, you may demonstrate a reassurance that your children will look for at this uncertain time.